She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
