I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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