If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
