Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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