I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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