Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
