Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
