This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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