I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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