best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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