it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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