OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
