Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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