Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
