their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
