I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
