So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Slut skills are useful in every country.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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