Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
