If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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