I'm so fucking centered right now
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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