Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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