i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize