About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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