his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize