So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize