So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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