My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
