when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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