I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
