Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
