That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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