Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
