yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
