im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize