hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Randomize
