That's intense
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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