I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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