I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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