You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
