Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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