Will you blow on my dice?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
