you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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