so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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