We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party