Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
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I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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