I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
