I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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