is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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