OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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