Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
