I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
