Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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