im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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