i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
