my vag is so smooth its legendary
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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