she woke up with a sticky ear
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
