You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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