I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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